10 Strange Superheros And Their 'Powers'

10 Strange Superheros And Their 'Powers'

By: Emma Lee Downs

According to The League of RegrettableSuperheroes: Half-Baked Heroes from Comic Book History (affiliate link) by Jon Morris and Super Weird Heroes: Outrageous But Real! (affiliate link) by Craig Yoe there have been a lot of weird superheros that have made their way to the pages of various comic books over the years.

There are many reasons why these strange superheros appeared in various comic book editions. Sometimes it was for humor. Other times it was to present an idea that seemed good at the time but was later revealed to be too weird for a general audience to understand.

In any case, they somehow made it into the pages of comic book history for better or for worse.

From a superhero called Funnyman that uses comedy routines to take down baddies to a superhero known as Dishman who has the power to teleport dishes, we count down ten superheros who probably should have just been left as ideas on the drawing board.

1. Phone Ranger: Perhaps created by someone who was a large telephone fan, Phone Ranger has the unique ability to hack things. But as his name alludes, it isn't just your run of the mill hacking. Phone Ranger (who's real name is A.G. Bell), can hack into any telecommunications system using his specially designed superhero suit. But strangely, this ability seems to be limited to planet Earth. One can only hope that he has upgraded his skill set to know his way around cell phones and tablets or his 'superpowers' are pretty much useless these days.

Source: First appeared in Marvel Age Annual, Issue 1.

2. Mister Midnight: With a cool name like Mister Midnight, you would think this superhero has a cool ability like blinding his enemies with some psychic ability or the ability to sneak around in the darkness unseen. Unfortunately, Mister Midnight (also known as Neal Carruthers when he is not fighting crime) does not do any of these things. Instead, he has the odd ability to make clocks, watches, and other time-telling devices stop that are at least 20 feet in front of him. To make things clear, he just stops clocks, watches, and other time-telling devices in the physical sense; he has no ability to stop time. He often leaves behind a watch dial with the hands pointing at midnight wherever he goes as a sort of calling card. In his second adventure, he is described as having a power over light and time which can take him anywhere he wants to travel. This seems to be directly related to his ability to stop any time telling devices in the area, which makes it appear as though he is reaching a destination faster than he really is.

Mister Midnight is often at odds with Police Chief Birey, who is ironically a close friend of his alternate identity, Neal Carruthers. Police Chief Birey is often annoyed that Mister Midnight takes care of all of the crime in the area, making it appear as though the local police are useless or untrustworthy. When he is not busy fighting crime, Mister Midnight assumes his other identity, Neal Carruthers, who is a wealthy American sportsman. His only motivation for fighting crime seems to be that he's bored between playing sports and wants something to keep him active.

Aside from confusing a few villains who like to keep to a schedule, Mister Midnight's abilities are more or less useless. On the bright side his 'skills' might help him sleep in longer in the morning as he can probably turn off any pesky alarm clock that is disturbing his morning rest.

Source: First appeared in Silver Streak Comics, Issue 1.

3. Funnyman: Funnyman (who's alternate identity is a comedian known as Larry Davis) broke into the crime fighting scene when he took down a criminal during the filming of his live television show. He thought that the situation was staged for his show but found out later that he had taken down a real criminal by mistake. He decided that he liked the experience and created a superhero persona known as Funnyman where he uses his comedy show props and other comedian skills to fight crime. They say that comedians can sometimes lose inspiration do do stand-up comedy routines and need to take a break for a while until they find new ideas for their comedy acts. One can only imagine what Funnyman does when he is feeling less inspired to do stand-up comedy or fight criminals with those skills. Maybe he spends the moments he is not fighting crime getting a little inspiration from Spider-Man, Deadpool, and The Tick who are all comedians in their own right, even if they don't do stand-up comedy for a living.

Sources: Super Weird Heroes: Outrageous But Real! by Craig Yoe. First appeared in Funnyman, Issue 1.

4. Brother Power the Geek: One of the weirdest superheroes on this list, Brother Power the Geek is a mannequin in an abandoned tailor shop who was brought to life with a combination of dust from the old shop, rain from a seasonal downpour, heat from a nearby radiator and a lightening strike. A group of hippies had previously put some clothes on him, which became his superhero attire after he got struck by lightening. As a mannequin he is bendable, he doesn't feel any pain, and he can't be injured. The lightening strike supposedly gave him a lot of physical strength and speed which he uses to help others with. However, as he hangs out with the hippies who gave him the clothes, he doesn't believe in fighting or causing harm to other people and prefers to offer other kinds of help to people in need.

Sources: The League of Regrettable Superheroes: Half-Baked Heroes from Comic Book History By Jon Morris. First appeared in Brother Power the Geek, Issue 1.

5. Fatman The Human Flying Saucer: Fatman is a rather iconic 'strange' superhero as he has been featured in many books, articles, and other writings on the subject. Fatman (known as Van Crawford when he is not fighting crime) obtained his strange superpowers when he received a drink from a shape-shifting alien that tasted suspiciously like a chocolate milkshake. The alien gave him the drink to thank him for helping with an issue related to crashing when he shape-shifted into a flying saucer. After drinking the strange substance, Van Crawford found that he could also shape-shift into a flying saucer (similar to the alien who he had helped previously). Soon after the encounter with the alien, Van Crawford created a costume to conceal is true identity as the owner of a very successful hobby shop chain and decided to call himself Fatman. When he shape-shifts into a flying saucer he can deflect attacks from other space crafts, people, objects, or things in general. He can shoot powerful beams of energy and he can travel faster than sound (but strangely not faster than light which I've been told is required for long distance space travel). Despite being rather fat, he is very flexible and skilled at doing tricky maneuvers such as triple forward flips when he is in his human form. He is also able to use his stomach fluff as an effective weapon to knock out adversaries with.

Sources: The League of Regrettable Superheroes: Half-Baked Heroes from Comic Book History By Jon Morris. First appeared in Fatman the Human Flying Saucer, Issue 1.

6. Dishman: Dishman (who's is a history teacher and comic book fan named Paul Mahler outside of his superhero persona) is a rather tragic figure in the comic book realm. His superpowers were granted to him after spending years cleaning radioactive fiesta ware. The problem is that his powers aren't really all that 'super' as he can only restore, clean, and teleport tableware or kitchenware in general where it is supposed to belong or needs to be arranged by waving his hand. Paul decides to make a superhero costume with an iconic teacup as his superhero emblem shortly after discovering his specialized talent of teleporting kitchenware through space and time. He tries to put his abilities to use in some way fighting crime, but he rarely finds an opportunity to execute his strange skill set. Due to the fact that he wears his superhero costume even when he isn't fighting crime as Dishman, his fiance Joy Weston eventually leaves him as she thinks he is not well in the head. Given the fact that his powers are pretty lame and not even his fiance wants much to do with him, it is no wonder that he only appeared in eight comic book issues over the years.

Source: First appeared in Dishman, Issue 1.

7. The Almighty Dollar: The Almighty Dollar (also known as J. Pennington Pennypacker when he is not fighting crime), is a CPA who was given the ability to manifest pennies out of thin air and fire them at his enemies. He acquired this strange skill after attending a self-esteem camp with some college buddies that claimed to 'unlock an inner superhero'. The camp was run by a crazy scientist who created a ray machine that could give anyone superpowers when it was fired at them. It gave J. Pennington Pennypacker an enhanced ability to 'toss money at issues' he intended to solve. This manifested in shooting pennies from his hands rapidly. He ended up using his new skills to help the other camp attendees escape. He only appeared in one comic issue so it is uncertain whether or not he is still using his penny slinging abilities to fight crime.

Source: First Appeared in NFL Superpro, Issue 10.

8. El Guapo: El Guapo (also called Roberto Rodriguez when he was not fighting crime) was most recognized for joining the X-Statix due to his unique ability to control a sentient skateboard with his mind. The odd thing is that the skateboard would often take on a life of its own, beating him up when he acted out of line in some way or when he cheated on his girlfriend. This was supposedly caused by his subconscious thoughts which would communicate with the skateboard even if he was not consciously aware of it. Interestingly, El Guapo had no real powers of his own, just the symbiotic relationship with his skateboard which would follow his instructions. He would fall ill if he was separated from the skateboard for a long period of time. Eventually, one of X-Statix's prominent foes named Henrietta Hunter placed a curse on him he was not able to shake. He was impaled by his skateboard through the heart since he was unable to break the curse in time.

Source: First appeared in X-Statix, Issue 9.

9. Captain Hadacol: Captain Hadacol stands out among some of the other entries on this list because his comics were actually made to advertise a patent vitamin supplement named Hadacol that was popular in the early 1950s. Hadacol had a strong alcohol base with vitamins such as B1, B2, B6, Niacinamide, Iron, Manganese, Calcium, and Phosphorous mixed into it. It also contained a very small amount of hydrochloric acid as well as sweet sweet honey to improve the taste.

The comics center around a man named John who is working at a summer camp with horse riding and other activities. The camp councilors explain that they have a map which supposedly leads to some treasure but no one has been able to find it. One evening some shady characters break into the camp's main office and steal the treasure map. This causes John to wake up because he heard the noise coming from the main office's cabin which is located next to his. He reaches in his medicine cabinet and takes some Hadacol which gives him Superman-like abilities (minus the weakness to Kryptonite). The readers are informed that no one knows about his superhero identity besides him.

In the next scene some young campers named Red and Sis manage to track down the map thieves and start following them to see where they will go. The thieves discover them and tie them up in a nearby mine. Captain Hadacol tracks the two young camper's down and defeats the map thieves with his super strength. He unties the two campers and soon after they discover where the treasure has been hidden for all of those years.

Aside from that one adventure, not much is known about Captain Hadacol, besides the fact that the vitamin supplement he was named for was the source of his abilities. This might have been an issue for him, however, as the company that manufactured Hadacol ended up collapsing not long after the comics were printed.

Perhaps with the source of his superpowers no longer being manufactured, John just went back to working at the camp as a normal guy. Since no other comics were ever made, we will never know for sure.

Sources: Super Weird Heroes: Outrageous But Real! by Craig Yoe. First appeared in

Captain Hadacol, Issue 1.

10. Zippo: Zippo is a golden age hero who could be thought of as an early version of the Flash. However, Zippo does not have any super speed of his own...or really any powers at all. Instead, he can travel at 'a moderately fast speed' due to a pair of giant wheels that are built into the boot area of his costume. Supposedly crafted from carborundum steel, the wheels can be used for cutting or other utility purposes. Powered by compressed air, the wheels move forward at a 'reasonably fast' pace and are operated by a series of buttons on his belt. Zippo (who is known by the name Joe Blair outside of his superhero persona) is a private detective by trade. Joe did his private detective work exclusively until he came up with the idea for his wheeled costume. The costume was made to take care of a specific job he was hired to do but after solving the case he decided to keeping fighting crime while wearing the costume. Between his weak motivation for becoming a superhero and his wheeled costume which can only travel 65 mph (a lot slower than a modern day car) Zippo is a superhero who is better left between the pages of the few golden age comics he appeared in.

Sources: Super Weird Heroes: Outrageous But Real! by Craig Yoe. First Appeared in Clue Comics, Issue 1.

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